Imprinting ...

A term typically used to describe the manner in which a young animal learns and mimics the characteristics of its parent.

Or, in the case of my family, the manner in which a child learns and mimics the characteristics of pets and siblings ... completely ignoring the characteristics of their parents.

This bizarre form of imprinting really began with my son Peter. He apparently got a mixed message somewhere during his first year of life and thought that our dog was his parent. No, I didn't leave the dog to babysit him like in Peter Pan, so I have no idea how it happened. But, before I knew it, he was crawling out the dog door, trying to drink from the dog bowl, chewing on the dog toys, and generally acting more like a puppy than a little boy. It has, of course, subsided a bit ... but he definitely still has some "puppy" in him ... a personality trait that I've grown to love and that is truly as cute as it is destructive and wild.

I thought I was finished with the whole imprinting thing ... that is, until Sunday afternoon. My daughter has always had both a strong attachment to Wrigley and a strong desire to do everything that the boys do. This always seemed relatively cute and normal until I saw her mimic the bathroom habits of both the dog and the boys simultaneously. Can you even begin to imagine where I am going with this? Probably not.

On Sunday afternoon, we set up a water slide for the kids in the backyard. Before I changed the boys into their suits, I took them over to the "pee tree" in the yard ... you see, trying to get them to actually pee in the toilet is a HUGE challenge, but getting them to pee on the "pee tree" is a piece of cake, so I take the easy, albeit unconventional, route from time to time. Hopefully, they will end up being lumberjacks or something outdoorsy so that my unsophisticated potty training methods don't interfere with their future careers!

Anyway, back to Emily. She refused to wear a bathing suit or a swim diaper, so I let her play in the water naked. (Another fine parenting technique, I know.) All was fine until she wandered away from the water slide and over to the "pee tree" and put her hands against it, leaning forward to pee like a boy. I tried to explain that she could not stand there and pee like that, but she gave me her usual "stop it mommy, I've had it" so I let her be ... thinking that if she actually peed that I'd just hose off her legs. I looked back at the boys on the slide for a minute and then glanced back at Emily standing against the "pee tree" ... and you'll never guess what I saw ... a poop coming out!

Oh my God, my beautiful little girl is apparently 1/2 dog and 1/2 boy ... where did I go wrong?!? Is it too late to un-imprint her? I am tempted to buy her tons of frilly underwear and a beautiful little potty seat and to never, ever let her play in the backyard again. But something tells me that if she wants to be 1/2 dog and 1/2 boy, well then that is exactly what she is going to be!